There is an assumption that we as a society are constantly
improving. Yet, many of the rites of passage which paint our socialization process fail to achieve anything within our own self-improvement. Bullying and schoolyard roughness have formed such an essential ritual within our collective memory
that its survival is almost guaranteed, if not inevitable. The idea that any
kind of man is made from rough play is an ancient one, and somebody needs to
realize this. Sticks and stones will break bones alright, but names break the
spirit. They taunt and degrade us, making us feeling ashamed of our own
skin. This shouldn't be normal. It's 2014; wake up.
How did we come to normalize this torture? When we fall as infants, we’re told by our parents to stop crying; ‘you’ll be better before you’re married.’ And to a certain extent, this hones true to our character’s endurance. Yet, when we apply this to circumstances such as bullying, it is a different story. If our disapproval of bullying is so prevalent within the conscience of Irish society, why then does it persist? The notion that any growing child needs to have their skin thickened to prepare for the real world is a tragic reflection of a system which neglects nourishing the human spirit. No ‘man’ is made from abuse. In fact, most children feel the need to ‘suck it up’ and soldier on. Ashamedly, we've associated suffering with strong integrity. Well there's no integrity in a system where mental suffering is all that progresses. My younger sibling has been ridiculed and raped of the character he once was, all because he believed he should soldier through his secondary school. Incidents have occurred where he has been followed home from school, taunted by peers and called names no one deserves to be called. There have been times when he's been taunted in Tesco with my mother; even walking home from school with her. But at the end of the day, what frightens me the most, is that the more he's called crazy, the more he may start to believe it. How’s that for mental health progression, Ireland? Fair play. Now, I thought I was a relatively strong character. But when my sibling confined in me that all of this abuse and mental intimidation is ‘normal’ to him, I wanted to cry for them; for the past and for the future of Ireland.
How do we deal with bullying? Do we confront it with fists of rage? This to me merely echoes fixing a problem with the same attitude which created it. How then do we deal with this? Who do we deal with? As much as I would like to point my finger towards school authorities who fail to really deal with the bullies involved, I think we need to look deeper than that. Socialization does not end in the home, it merely begins there. I would argue that our ability to be influenced by our world environment are heightened during our teen years. As parents, we need to look at ourselves; our sons and daughters, and how we’re influencing them. Unfortunately, we operate in a reward punishment paradigm. Telling your child they've done wrong is merely the consequence of wrongdoings coming to surface. Ask yourself what would have happened it the bullying had failed to be discovered. Most likely, the same would have carried on. Smacking somebody only proliferates the pain were trying to banish. Giving out doesn't do anything. As teachers, we need to really question who are students are. Not just how they perform in class, but how they perform outside of it. Don’t say it’s not your problem. Are your students blank faces or people? Before you dismiss a student, try to understand him/her. Why is he/she angry? What signs are they giving? Because there's always a sign. And as students, can we look back on our teen years and be proud of who we were and the influence we had on others?
There’s no truth in saying hard times make the man. They only break what we could have been. To be withered at fourteen is a shame. To see no beauty in your community, merely because your community failed to acknowledge the beauty in you is a tragedy. If suffering is how we earn our hard skin, I’m ashamed of wearing it. The more I learn of men, the more I admire dogs.
How did we come to normalize this torture? When we fall as infants, we’re told by our parents to stop crying; ‘you’ll be better before you’re married.’ And to a certain extent, this hones true to our character’s endurance. Yet, when we apply this to circumstances such as bullying, it is a different story. If our disapproval of bullying is so prevalent within the conscience of Irish society, why then does it persist? The notion that any growing child needs to have their skin thickened to prepare for the real world is a tragic reflection of a system which neglects nourishing the human spirit. No ‘man’ is made from abuse. In fact, most children feel the need to ‘suck it up’ and soldier on. Ashamedly, we've associated suffering with strong integrity. Well there's no integrity in a system where mental suffering is all that progresses. My younger sibling has been ridiculed and raped of the character he once was, all because he believed he should soldier through his secondary school. Incidents have occurred where he has been followed home from school, taunted by peers and called names no one deserves to be called. There have been times when he's been taunted in Tesco with my mother; even walking home from school with her. But at the end of the day, what frightens me the most, is that the more he's called crazy, the more he may start to believe it. How’s that for mental health progression, Ireland? Fair play. Now, I thought I was a relatively strong character. But when my sibling confined in me that all of this abuse and mental intimidation is ‘normal’ to him, I wanted to cry for them; for the past and for the future of Ireland.
How do we deal with bullying? Do we confront it with fists of rage? This to me merely echoes fixing a problem with the same attitude which created it. How then do we deal with this? Who do we deal with? As much as I would like to point my finger towards school authorities who fail to really deal with the bullies involved, I think we need to look deeper than that. Socialization does not end in the home, it merely begins there. I would argue that our ability to be influenced by our world environment are heightened during our teen years. As parents, we need to look at ourselves; our sons and daughters, and how we’re influencing them. Unfortunately, we operate in a reward punishment paradigm. Telling your child they've done wrong is merely the consequence of wrongdoings coming to surface. Ask yourself what would have happened it the bullying had failed to be discovered. Most likely, the same would have carried on. Smacking somebody only proliferates the pain were trying to banish. Giving out doesn't do anything. As teachers, we need to really question who are students are. Not just how they perform in class, but how they perform outside of it. Don’t say it’s not your problem. Are your students blank faces or people? Before you dismiss a student, try to understand him/her. Why is he/she angry? What signs are they giving? Because there's always a sign. And as students, can we look back on our teen years and be proud of who we were and the influence we had on others?
There’s no truth in saying hard times make the man. They only break what we could have been. To be withered at fourteen is a shame. To see no beauty in your community, merely because your community failed to acknowledge the beauty in you is a tragedy. If suffering is how we earn our hard skin, I’m ashamed of wearing it. The more I learn of men, the more I admire dogs.
