Positively filtered

Shit happens.

I'll take that from Forest and say it again, Shit happens.

There ain’t no denying it. I’m probably 75% on my best day; and those are the good days. Other days, I wonder why I'm still hanging in and if I’m leaving any significant impact on anything. And that’s okay.  In fact, it's actually positive. I think social media has had a strong influence on the promotion of positivity and mental well-being, but they aren’t necessarily one and the same thing. You see, recently we’ve entered an age of insincerity. We filter our faces and our feelings, leaving our hearts at the door and a strained smile on our sleeves. The 'positivity' you see proposed on social media  looks more like denial than hope.  It's shallow and unrelatable. The reality Is that life is hard. If you’re breathing, you’ve experienced pain. Unless you’re asleep, or dead-or asleep. Life does not ease by smoothly. To be human is to feel. Pain and heartbreak inevitably come with that. It’s when you deny what you’re feeling, that you’re actually being the opposite of positive. You are being precisely negative! Life can be an awful song, but it can also be a beautiful one. However, the recognition of the latter is not possible without the existence of the former.

In case you’re not getting my point, I’ll say it again, we suffer. I suffer. I struggle most days. Just because I write words and post them to social media doesn't mean I have 'it' together.  But we need to be honest. I'm saying this to make dialogue. The more we continue to spread positivity without allowing ourselves to feel, the more damage we sow.  Though it may sound strange, it is in our fundamental interest to suffer. CS Lewis, the man who wrote one of the most well known happy-ending tales of all time, acknowledged that experience was the ‘most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.’ Without experience, without pain, we cannot learn, and therefore grow. When (not if) we approach a difficult or alarming time in life; when we are beat up and worn, turning our heads and forcing a smile won’t enable growth. Sometimes the best remedy can be to simple meditate on your pain. Sometimes the most important lessons come from weeping. 

THINK POSITIVE BE POSITIVE may not be the answer to dealing with the realities of life. I found myself becoming depressed after viewing positive mantras repeated and perverted time and time again on social media. They're not real. That blogger doesn't know me. You don't know who I am, or what I've been through. I don't you, either. Only we know our stories and their ups and downs. But we can make them worthwhile by accepting them. There needs to be sincerity. How can anyone ever grow if they aren’t real? My room-mate told me recently that if someone’s grass seems greener, there’s generally more shit. That’s accurate. There are some people who genuinely wield more optimism and I admire them. But, I’d equally argue that they’re more in touch with their emotions than they would either let on or you are unaware of. They’re probably that positive because they are in touch with their pain.

Here’s the reality, I’ve NEVER picked up heavy weight and thought it wasn’t heavy. My reaction to pain is the the same. Saying a  180kg deadlift isn’t heavy doesn’t make it light. And you don’t fight depression by denying it. Cut the BS. Be real. 
I've never regretted vulnerability and hurt.When I've gotten to know the pain I'm feeling, I've found the most beautiful understanding of myself. There lies forgiveness, acceptance and growth. Risk vulnerability and know what it is to be human or risk never really knowing who you are, what you’re made or who you can become.